Don't Blink!

This is going to be the year of Doctor Who quotes, because Nik is all about Doctor Who. And because it's his favorite show, I always try to use Doctor Who as a way to explain things to Nik.

There is an episode called Blink, and it's one of our favorites. In the episode, the Doctor and his companion are trying to prevent the weeping angels from taking control over the Tardis. There is a great line that the Doctor recites.

"Your life could depend on this. Don’t blink. Don’t even blink. Blink and you’re dead. They are fast. Faster than you can believe. Don’t turn your back, don’t look away, and don’t blink! Good luck."


Don't blink could apply to your life. Because in the blink of an eye, time passes quickly. This photo is Nik's 1st day of kindergarten. This little guy just started his senior year in high school. In the blink of an eye, folks. Back then, senior year was a lifetime away. We had time on our side and we were positive we could fix everything.

Turns out, we needed to fix our own attitudes. He's perfect the way he is. Once I accepted that his life was on a different journey, I saw all of the wonderful qualities that he has. Nik is tender hearted, has great attention to detail, and is a very dedicated worker. Give him an assignment or task, and he will go all out to complete the task as perfectly as possible. That is an excellent job skill, my friends!

Nik has so much to offer. This year is all about discovering what path to take next. There may some fear, worry and doubt. But despite all that, Nik will face it head on, take his first step into adulthood and he will rock it! Get ready world. Here comes Nik!

Bob and weave like Mohammad Ali

We lost a great one last week. Mohammad Ali passed away after a long illness. Watching some of the old great video clips of his fights and seeing him bob and weave, made me think of my kids. Because Autism requires them to do their own version of the bob and weave. In case you didn't know, the bob and weave is a technique that fighters use to avoid a punch by their opponent.

My kids are becoming masters at the bob and weave. People with Autism often struggle with anxiety and sensory overload when it comes to crowded, unfamiliar places. It would be easy to just throw in the towel (yeah, another boxing term), and avoid these situations. But life is not meant to be lived with your head buried in the sand. We want to get out there and live! So we teach our kids to bob and weave when things become too much.

We made our annual trek to Planet Comicon last month. This year, Stan Lee was going to make an appearance, so the kids were super excited! In typical Autism fashion, we planed like crazy. We packed snacks, water, the laptop, headphones. We want the kids to have fun, but we want them to have some comfort items when they need to bob and weave.

This year, Nik wanted to dress like his favorite Doctor Who, the 12th Doctor. Noah wanted to wear his Ant-Man costume.

Before we get started, you should know that most photos were taken by the kids. I think they did an awesome job!

Because we knew Stan Lee would be a big draw, we got to the convention really early. This meant that we were close to the front of the line, but it also meant a long wait before the doors opened. We killed some time watching movies on Nik's laptop. This helped ease anxiety with the huge crowd of people coming in.

The masters of the bob and weave!

The kids were able to sit on the ground for a bit, but as the crowd swelled, we all had to move forward. Good old Alex held the laptop so the kids could still watch their movie.

Every good fighter need a cut man...I mean dad!

And here we are with a few hundred friends. 

Before long, we were told to move to the side. 501st was entering the convention, and we had a perfect view right in front!

We were so close, that the kids got high fives and fist bumps by several of these cool guys!

Nik took this accidental artsy photo.

Before we knew it, the convention was open! Let's get ready to rummmmbbbbblllleeee!

Nik really wanted to meet Jenna Coleman, from Doctor Who, so we went right to her line.

We were close to the front of the line, but it took her over an hour to arrive for autographs. Nik got pretty tired of waiting. But just when he was about ready to crack, she arrived! He only wanted an autograph, so we don't have a photo with her. But she was very nice! By the time we were done with that line, it was already noon. We took a lunch break and people watched. Bob and weave, people! 

We ran in to some pretty cool dudes!

The convention was packed! Everything has a long line. Crowds and long lines are not something that are easy for people with Autism. This is what it looks like when a kid has had enough. 

But this family does not throw in the towel! Bob and weave we go.

We found a quiet corner and enjoyed some of the snacks we brought in our backpack. Our Stan Lee photo session wasn't until 4pm, and it was only 1pm. We killed time in the Timey Wimey Puppet Show. What? A Doctor Who puppet show?! Don't mind if I do!

All better now!

It would be so easy to just give up and go home. Sometimes you have to bob and weave through life. No shame in that. It's all about making it to the 12th round without getting knocked out, right?

We love the 501st Legion. They do wonderful charity work, and have always been amazing to my kids.

Finally it was 4pm, so we made our way over to our photo op with the master of comic books, Stan Lee! We were only a few people away, when Stan Lee needed a break. I mean, the dude is in his 90's. I can only imagine how exhausted he must have been! But the kids were pretty tired, and we had to do a bit more bobbing and weaving.

But we made it! Look at those happy boys! Noah is throwing his Spider-Man pose with Stan-freaking-Lee! 

I've said it so many times before. We have to push the kids out of their comfort level. It's not easy, but the payoff is amazing! Bob and weave through life, and you will come out a winner!

The prize, a huge Tardis filled with nerd gear!

RIP Mohammad Ali. You were a great inspiration.

Autism in the house. It's Autism Awareness month.

It's Autism Awareness month. For my family, every day is Autism Awareness. Living with Autism means that you see things differently than the rest of the world. The whole point of this month is that the Autism community wants to be accepted for their differences. People with Autism march to the beat of a different drummer. Heck, they march to their own drummer! When my boys were diagnosed, I realized that their world would be different than their typical peers. And my world would be different as well. But different isn't bad. It's just, well, different.

When I first started attending my church, I tried to join a moms group. I attended the first 2 meetings, where we learned how to navigate high school issues such as how to balance AP classes and requirements for college. I dropped out of that group quickly. My world was different than those moms. Not less than. Just different. And that's ok. In fact, it's more than ok. It can be pretty awesome!

I love my family. This is a happy home. My kids bring me so much joy. We have so many wonderful memories as a family. And I know we will have many more in the future. I would not have it any other way. But to deny the fact that it isn't hard sometimes would be a lie.  For the most part, I think we have carved a pretty nice life for our boys. They are happy, have made huge progress since moving out of California, and they are pretty damn awesome! But there are hard times. There are plenty of hard times. What family does not experience hard times though?

There are times when I have no idea what to do next. I'm at a complete loss. Admitting that you have no idea what to do is not an easy thing. I'm someone who likes to take control of a situation. So throwing my hands up and saying I have no idea what to do is terrifying. But I have loved the journey. My sons have made me a stronger, more patient person. I know more about Marvel or DC Comics, or Star Wars. Yes, I'm a huge Star Wars fan, and these kids still beat me with their Star Wars facts. The facts they can recite really boggles the mind. I have no idea how they remember these things. Noah could name the most obscure actor, and recite every movie they have appeared in. He can list every single character Mark Hamill has voiced. I wish I could soak up some of their brain power. And Nikolas is such a responsible, compassionate soul. He has a unique perspective. Like the time he got in my car after school, and I noticed that his shirt was inside out and backwards. I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate times, so of course I started to laugh at this. I apologized and asked him if he was embarrassed that he wore his shirt like that all day. He said no. "Why? I didn't noticed."  Well, that's a good point, Nik!

 I love the way these kids see the world. I would not change my kids for one second. But I sure do wish I could change the world for them. Especially as they approach adulthood.

Rethinking age appropriate activities

One of the challenges that special needs parents may face is whether they should encourage or curb an activity or interest that may not be age appropriate. Having a 14 year old that wouldn't think twice about buying a stuffed animal isn't the norm, but it's what life is like in this house.

Every Halloween and Easter, I'm faced with the same question. Are the kids too old for Trick or Treat and Easter Egg hunts? I have decided to follow their lead. If they ask to participate, then we do it.

So we did our traditional Easter Egg scavenger hunt. In an attempt to have them improve their reading skills, I like to write down the clues to the egg locations. We always have the kids wait in our bedroom while we hide the eggs. Once we are ready to start the hunt, the boys take turns reading the clues and try to figure out where each egg is hidden.

Since it snowed in the morning, we kept the hunt indoors.

But it was easy to hide the eggs among all of the nerd gear in their rooms.

The final clue leads them to their final prize. If we are going on vacation in the summer, I usually put in things that go with the trip. It could be a travel guide, tickets to a Broadway show, etc. This year, we have no trips planned, so the bag consisted of candy, a couple nerdy items, and books to read during the summer.

It was a nice day. The kids have not outgrown the Easter Egg hunt. Just last week, Nik wrote something for school where he talked about his favorite traditions, and our Easter Egg hunt made the list. So we are going to keep doing this until the say they don't want to. I don't care if they are in their 30's. Who says that we have to outgrow traditions?

There's been an awakening. Have you felt it?

Yes, it's another Star Wars quote to kick off another blog entry. Old habits die hard. But I will put a different spin on this one. This is about an awakening of faith.

Let me take you back some 14 and 12 year ago, when we first came to the realization that there was something different about our boys. Nik was 2 when we first noticed something different. Before that, he was a typical baby, meeting all the appropriate milestones right on time. Then it was as if he hit a brick wall. There was no progress, only regression. He lost a lot of speech. He was not making progress on fine motor skills. He would go through moments where he would just stare ahead and not respond to his name. I would clap my hands in front of his face to get his attention, and he would look at me for a second, then turn away.  Noah's story is a bit different. Noah didn't regress, but he just stopped making progress for a while. Autism is different with every person, even among siblings.

When we finally did get a diagnosis for our boys, I went through the typical emotions that any other special needs parent goes through. I was scared about the future. I had no idea what the future would hold for them, what kind of job they would have, if they would be able to have meaningful relationships. There were so many unknowns about their future. With all of that worry on my shoulders, I also worried about their faith. I am someone who has always been strong in my faith. Even when I had no church, I was strong in my faith in God. I wanted my children to have that same faith in God. I can't imagine going through life without feeling the peace of knowing and loving God. It broke my heart to feel that I may not be able to teach my kids about God.

I feel so fortunate to have found a church home for us. The kids are right at home, attending bible study with their special needs ministry group. They have the opportunity to attend church, listen to great music, then head to their bible study. They have learned so much with the group. The ministry has an amazing team of staff and volunteers who pour their heart and soul in to these kids. Because of this ministry, my boys are deepening their faith and learning what it means to following the teachings of Jesus.

This weekend, the boys were confirmed along with their peers. It was a moment that I will never forget. Thinking back at a time when I worried if they would ever develop a relationship with God, and now seeing them at the alter to receive their blessing. I cried, and I'm totally not a crier. I cried the ugly cry. You know the one, ladies. Let's just say that I'm thankful for waterproof mascara. I was moved to see the progress that my sons have made. Life is never easy. And it's even more of a challenge when you have Autism. I know that God does not protect us from having struggles in life. Struggling is a part of life and we all must push through it. But I do know that my faith has carried me through some pretty tough stuff. And I know that faith will carry my boys as well. So we are on the right path to knowing and loving God. We are ready to learn about serving God.

There really has been an awakening in my boys. I have felt it. They have felt it. Have you felt it?